


See Me

by Hyunjins_lipring



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:15:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21618214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyunjins_lipring/pseuds/Hyunjins_lipring
Summary: Every day became more difficult than the last as Felix struggled to keep his identity to himself. Not that it was particularly anyone’s business, but the longer he held it in, the more he felt as though he was keeping some sort of dirty, disgusting secret.
Relationships: Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 82





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is set sometime after the Stray Kids survival show and before their debut.

Felix had always known there was something different about him. Even at an early age, whenever he would watch those animated princess movies with his sisters, he never saw himself represented in the lead male character. Instead, he found himself relating more to the young, female ingenue, wishing to be rescued by a handsome and strong ‘Prince Charming.’ When he entered middle school, Felix sometimes became jealous towards the girls in his class, as they always got all of the attention from the boys. During his teenage years, he had trouble making male friends. They weren't necessarily mean to him, but they would usually distance themselves when they found out the truth. 

Felix wasn't ashamed of being gay. Maybe he was a bit inexperienced, and perhaps he had a little ways to go before he would consider himself ‘out and proud,’ but he generally liked who he was. He had a loving family who accepted him, got decent grades in school, and had a pretty impressive talent. A talent that led him to be accepted into a major entertainment company in South Korea. It had taken a lot of persuading, but in the end, his parents had allowed him to leave Australia and pursue the life of an idol. 

Adjusting to his new life in South Korea was tough, to say the least. Not only did Felix not know anyone there, but he also had to learn an entirely new language, along with the country's culture and customs. It was all, to put it simply, completely foreign to him. 

However, it didn't take long for Felix to realize that, in South Korea, homosexuality was a topic best left not discussed. Every day became more difficult than the last as Felix struggled to keep his identity to himself. Not that it was particularly anyone’s business, but the longer he held it in, the more he felt as though he was keeping some sort of dirty, disgusting secret. 

Then he had met Changbin, and something had awakened in Felix. The boy was an amazing rapper, and had a certain mysterious charm that Felix was instantly attracted to. They became fast friends, and Felix felt closer to him than he had felt to anyone else before. 

* * *

“Yeah, that's it!” Changbin exclaimed. “That sounded much better.”

Felix beamed, proud that he had gotten Changbin’s enthusiastic approval. “Thanks.” 

The two of them were seated next to each other on the couch in one of the practice rooms, reviewing Felix’s verse in “3rd Eye.” Felix had always admired Changbin’s rap skills, and was grateful to have his assistance. 

“I really appreciate your help with this,” Felix remarked. 

“It's no problem. I just want you to be the best you can be,” Changbin said, giving Felix one of his award-winning smiles. “I’m glad you're debuting with us.”

It wasn't too long ago when Felix had truly thought his biggest dreams were crushed for good. Everything he had worked so hard for since arriving in Korea was suddenly ripped out from under him. Not only had he lost his chance to debut with Stray Kids, but he had also lost his friends, his family. Felix’s heart had shattered into a million pieces when he had seen the look in Changbin’s eyes on the day he was eliminated. 

But that was in the past. Felix was here now, with Changbin, right where he belonged. 

“The day you left was one of the worst days of my life,” Changbin admitted sheepishly, staring down at the floor. “I promise I'll do everything I can to make sure you’re here forever.” 

Felix placed a hand on Changbin’s knee, squeezing it gently. “I’m not going anywhere,” he reassured, his tone sincere. 

Changbin bit his lip and glanced up at Felix. “I really like spending time with you.”

His eyes softening, Felix felt his chest fill with joy. “I like spending time with you, too.” 

“If there's ever anything you need, or anything that's bothering you, you can always talk to me,” Changbin stated. “You know that, right?”

A subtle feeling of guilt seeped in, and Felix swallowed nervously. “Yeah, I know.”

Changbin’s stare suggested that he could sense something was off. It was almost as if he could read every thought racing through Felix’s mind. Should he tell Changbin the truth? Could Felix trust him? What if Changbin never wanted to see him again, and Felix lost the one person who made him feel at home in such an unfamiliar place? 

Felix didn't know the answer to any of these questions, but he did know that if he didn't confess to somebody soon, he was going to lose his mind. And Changbin seemed to be his best, if not only, option. 

“Tell me what's wrong,” Changbin pleaded in a quiet voice. 

Heat began to creep up the back of Felix’s neck as his stomach flipped. He sucked in a trembling breath, bracing himself for the worst. 

“I'm gay


	2. Chapter 2

Felix’s heart began to beat faster and faster as he waited for a response. He had played out this scenario in his head countless times, but Changbin’s unreadable expression was scarier than anything he could have imagined. The silence seemed to stretch on for eternity, and Felix felt his body go numb. 

“I'm sorry,” Felix choked out, tears stinging his eyes. He buried his head in his hands, embarrassment swirling through his insides like a deadly poison. 

Felix had never been ashamed of being gay. But if this was the reason for the end of his friendship with Changbin, maybe now he would be. 

“Lix,” Changbin started, scooting closer. “Look at me. Please.”

When he looked up, the tenderness that Felix saw in Changbin’s eyes only made his tears fall faster. Changbin was a sweet guy. Perhaps even too sweet. Felix knew the older boy would reject him in the nicest way possible, but that didn't mean it would be any less painful. 

Changbin reached up to wipe the tears from the boy's cheeks. Felix held his breath, the feather-light touch leaving tingles along the surface of his skin. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Changbin assured. He leaned forward, capturing Felix in a tight hug. “Thank you for telling me.” 

Felix let out a trembling breath, his muscles instantly relaxing in Changbin’s comforting embrace. “You don't hate me?” he asked in a small voice. 

Changbin let go, resting a hand on Felix’s knee. “I could never hate you.”

Felix wished he had the words to express how thankful and relieved he was to have Changbin in his life. For now, he’ll settle on taking hold of Changbin’s hand, hoping the action spoke for itself. 

“How long have you known?” Changbin asked. 

Felix thought for a moment and shrugged. “I guess I've always known.”

“Why didn't you say anything sooner?” Changbin questioned. He didn't sound angry, just confused and concerned. 

“I was scared,” Felix confessed. “Most of the time, when I tell people, they start acting differently around me. And not in a good way.”

“I just mean,” Changbin explained, “I feel bad that you've had this weighing on your shoulders for so long.”

“It's not really a big deal,” Felix lied, faking a weak smile. As great as it felt to finally get all of this off of his chest, the last thing Felix wanted was for Changbin to worry about him. “I've never even kissed a boy before, so…”

Felix winced, immediately regretting his words. Why did he say that? How was that even relevant? Felix was only trying to diffuse the tension, but he had somehow made it worse, which he didn't think was even possible. He wanted desperately to bolt out of the room and pretend this whole conversation had never happened. 

But Felix knew Changbin wouldn't let him off that easy. 

“Uh, sorry. I, um…” Felix stammered in an attempt to explain himself. “I don't--”

“Me neither.”

At first, Felix figured that Changbin was kidding. That he was just saying that as a joke, and that he didn't actually mean anything by it. But the soft look in Changbin’s eyes suggested otherwise, causing Felix’s cheeks to heat up. 

“What?” Felix blurted out, dumbfounded. He had only just now realized how close Changbin’s face was to his own, and he could feel the older boy’s warm breath on his cheeks. If it was anyone else, it would have been gross, but since it was Changbin, Felix didn't mind in the slightest. 

Changbin remained silent, glancing down at Felix’s lips. He leaned in even closer, and Felix followed suit, feeling drawn to him like a magnet.

“If you want me to stop, just say so,” Changbin murmured, their noses brushing. 

If Felix wasn't so flustered, he would have laughed out loud. He wouldn't have stopped Changbin even if the world around them was coming to a fiery, disastrous end. 

“Don't stop,” Felix whispered, encouraging Changbin to finally press their lips together. 

The kiss started out innocently, if not a little awkward. Felix wasn't quite sure what to do with his hands at first, eventually grabbing onto Changbin’s broad shoulders. Things became heated as Changbin opened his mouth ever so slightly and pulled at Felix's bottom lip, his hands holding onto the sides of the boy’s torso. 

Felix closed his eyes and whimpered, melting under the older boy’s touch. Changbin’s lips were so soft and gentle and his hands were so strong and firm and although Felix felt completely overwhelmed by everything that was happening, he never wanted it to end. 

Unfortunately, that was the moment when Changbin decided to pull away. He was breathing heavily, and Felix was abruptly reminded to take a breath himself, after unintentionally holding it for so long. When he opened his eyes, the look of adoration Felix saw on Changbin’s face caused his heart to skip a beat. 

“I've been wanting to do that for so long,” Changbin stated, his voice low and intimate. 

The two boys stared at each other for a moment, the deep brown color of Changbin’s eyes warming Felix's entire body. The younger boy grinned, caught up in the unbelievable charm that was Seo Changbin. 

Felix let out a breathy chuckle. “Yeah, I'm definitely gay.”

Changbin threw his head back and laughed loudly. It was the most beautiful thing Felix had ever seen.


End file.
